Expected vs Reality

In the course of parenthood, our child reaches many milestones. We rejoice that our child is capable of doing the same things every child has done since the beginning of mankind. Minus the humped backs and fur.

But, with every milestone comes consequences. We THINK we want our child to learn to walk. We THINK we want them to learn how to use the potty and wear underwear. But what we never anticipate in our blind optimism, is that when little Jr. learns to walk, that means he can use his legs, and that means he's going to use his legs to destroy, and pillage, and plunder. And while learning to pee on the potty is definitely a yay moment, the huge turd you found in Jr's closet after he ripped off his pullup is NOT a yay moment at all.

So, I will be posting a series of crappy, half-assed paint drawings to illustrate the expected reaction to certain milestones, and other happenings, vs the ACTUAL reaction to certain milestones, and other happenings, etc. etc.

I may post one at a time, or seven. I'm unpredictable like that. Here are the first two:
(click to make big)
(I made them too big. I will rectify this in the next post so you don't have to indulge my retardation by clicking.)

New baby




Learning to walk




Goodnight all. Remember to spay and neuter your pets, and use condoms.