Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Expected vs Reality

In the course of parenthood, our child reaches many milestones. We rejoice that our child is capable of doing the same things every child has done since the beginning of mankind. Minus the humped backs and fur.

But, with every milestone comes consequences. We THINK we want our child to learn to walk. We THINK we want them to learn how to use the potty and wear underwear. But what we never anticipate in our blind optimism, is that when little Jr. learns to walk, that means he can use his legs, and that means he's going to use his legs to destroy, and pillage, and plunder. And while learning to pee on the potty is definitely a yay moment, the huge turd you found in Jr's closet after he ripped off his pullup is NOT a yay moment at all.

So, I will be posting a series of crappy, half-assed paint drawings to illustrate the expected reaction to certain milestones, and other happenings, vs the ACTUAL reaction to certain milestones, and other happenings, etc. etc.

I may post one at a time, or seven. I'm unpredictable like that. Here are the first two:
(click to make big)
(I made them too big. I will rectify this in the next post so you don't have to indulge my retardation by clicking.)

New baby

Learning to walk

Goodnight all. Remember to spay and neuter your pets, and use condoms.


  1. Hilarious! Rancid cheese and death...I think I had that for dinner last night.
    The last drawing reminded me of buying some coloring pens for the little man. The reality? Looking like Groucho Marx the next morning as the little sod had scribbled all over my face whilst I slept.

  2. lmao Oh yes, we learned our lesson the hard way about buying crayons and markers. Crayons end up being eaten or smeared all over the walls, and markers end being all over Layla and anyone around her, and then destroyed. Colored pencils aren't much better in the drawing on the walls department, but they're not as messy either, and really not appealing for consumption, haha.

  3. She is indeed very strong, just like a bull destroying everything on her way :D


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