Tuesday, May 17, 2011

If mom and kid commercials told the truth 2

Continuing on the TV commercial moms vs Real moms thread, today I bring you:  What TV commercial moms look like vs What REAL mothers look like.  Moms on commercials all look so put together.  Their hair is brushed and styled.  They have on a cute, conservative sweater outfit. Their makeup is flawless.  They're actually wearing socks and/or shoes.  What a load of shit.  Unless you're the type of mother that lives in Suburban heaven, and thinks her children are angels of joy and rainbows, you're probably not going to look like you just stepped out of a JC Penney's catalog.  Sort of like this:

Real mothers, the kind that actually realize their children aren't little cherubs of butterflies and sunshine, who think June Cleaver was a simple-minded, subservient idiot, usually look like they've just stepped out of a Hobos R US catalog. At least I do. As we speak, this is my ensemble: A stained purple tank top, and maroon panties. That's it. And my hair is 7 degrees of fucked up, and my legs are so hairy, I could shave them and use the hair to knit a blanket . For example:

Real mothers usually don't give two fucks about what they look like as they change shitty diapers, and clean vomit off the walls.  My first priority is not my hairstyle when I'm elbow-deep in a sink full of two week old dishes, and Layla is in the next room screaming or trying to use our dog as transporation.  But can you imagine what commercials would be like if they featured the above image of a real mother?  Either people would think it was genius and buy the shit out of the product, or they'd start boycotting the product for scarring their target audience for life.

Now, I have to go wash the dishes, in my underwear.  Have a good day, my lovely readers.


  1. Brilliant as always. I'm often elbow deep in old dishes. SOBs seem to pile up endlessly... I wrote a post about it once ('Dish Fridays' if you care to scrounge around for it), and I still am not capable of doing them every day.


    Wife-beater tank tops = #1 Mom Outfit

  2. I LOVE your green socks! I have a pair just like 'em!

  3. OMG!! Honey you sure do tell the TRUTH!!! I love you blog because I now know there are other moms out there that feel like i do. I sure love my kids (ages 13,8, and 3) sometimes i feel like i should have opted for puppies instead-lol

  4. dysfunction: I know. I have actually contemplated getting rid of all our dishes, and buying plastic or paper plates/bowls, etc. to use instead. Currently, the kitchen looks like some disgusting slob came in and messed it all up. lol

    Stace: Well, I don't have green socks with hearts on them, but I do have a pair with a monkey on them. I don't believe in normal socks. :D

    Mom2AKL: Shit no, you're not alone. I pretty much knew I wasn't alone in how I sometimes feel, but most moms don't say what they're thinking outloud, for fear of being thought of as a bad mother. Good thing my "give a fuck" is broken. ;) Puppies poop and puke too. Maybe a fish? lol

  5. Oh my Lord, haha. I love the illustrations! I too, have washed dishes in my underwear! And I tend to (especially as of late) lounge around the house in my husband's shirts (not from JC Penny) with no socks or shoes on...damn commercials...

  6. rapunzel: Hello, lady! I LOVE your username. Ya know, maybe commercials portraying a real mother WOULD be successful. Who doesn't like to see a chick vacuuming in nothing but a shirt and underwear? lol

  7. Thanks, it came with the long hair I used to have as a child. And it stuck with me. I totally agree. I'd rather watch a realistic commercial then spend the entire 30 some seconds rolling my eyes.


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