I've got a post in the works, but my brain is currently not functioning at normal speed, so here's a little distraction. You're welcome.
Now I'm going to go duct tape my child and throw her in the closet. She has spent this ENTIRE day irritating the holy fuck out of me. On purpose. She has screamed, scratched my arm repeatedly, hit me repeatedly with the shitty computer chair that is right next to me at this very moment. She has squealed, called my name repeatedly, only to ask me the SAME FUCKING QUESTION 209832094820398 TIMES. From the BATHROOM. (Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY! MOMMY! *now screaming* MOMMY!!!!!! Me: WHAT?!?! Her: What you doin? AND repeat. *bangs head repeatedly into wall*) And of course, she's played the game of the previous entry. Getting completely shit-faced is looking pretty inviting right about now.
Who knew that evil could look so cute?
ReplyDeleteBut as we both know, the cute ones are the most evil. I'm pretty much sure that the lil man is nothing but scales and horns underneath.
lily: Yeah, they use their cute to lull us into a false sense of security. And then they suck out your soooouuullll *cue dramatic, horror movie music*
ReplyDeleteI'd love to tell you they grow out of it, but mine hasn't yet and he's 10. I decided to stay up a little later than usual for some quiet "mommy time", but the little bugger ate so much freaking chocolate today, I'm pretty sure his bead is going to come through ceiling. Either that or he'll spend the next hour calling "mommy" every five minutes to check and see if he's got the all clear to sneak more candy. May I borrow some duct tape?
ReplyDeleteOh God, I hate "Mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy mommy..." It makes me want to crane kick Shake'n'Bake in the face. It's even worse when she ends it with "I don't know."
ReplyDeleteO_o
Carrie: I'm afraid my duct tape supplies are depleted. I used a whole roll the other day, you see. But you can borrow my heavy object to beat him into unconsciousness. :D
ReplyDeletedysfunction: Oh god. Layla hasn't pulled that one yet. It's usually "What doin?" or "Come hewe." And she screams for me to get her out of the tub, as if she hasn't gotten out herself 280398042938 times before.